Saturday, February 25, 2012
I subscribe to TheRumpus.net and everyday my inbox is given a taste of proper blogging. Stephen, the blog's creator and head writer, talks about life and all of it's beautiful dirty messiness and how wonderfully painful and great it can be. He writes about his childhood and adulthood and work, you know, life. He is fast becoming one of my favorite writers to read. Mostly because he sends me email I want to read but also be he inspires me to write more.
I have wanted to be a writer in the classic sense from the age of about two. My mom tells me when I was little, a toddler in a car seat, I would tell her stories from the back seat of the car. Often they were the bedtime stories from the night before that I retold with myself as the heroine. I don't remember this but it does sound like something I was likely to do at two or three. I do remember in kindergarten reading stories and rewriting them in my head so they were more interesting. I mean, Dick and Jane were not just walking for hours and hours, something had to be chasing them or attacking them. I do remember one time in the third grade I got in trouble for writing a paper that was too descriptive. The teacher told me what I wrote was fantastical and not likely to ever happen. I thought what is wrong with that?
I was not kind to my writing talent after graduating high school. Though I wrote my share of art history papers during undergrad and a few short scripts that my screenwriting teacher really liked, I did nothing to groom my talent. After earning my BFA, I was afraid to start writing. I was afraid that because I had waited so long to start writing again I would discover my talent found a home in someone else, that person more appreciative of it and not bond by fear to not use it. I am glad to say that over that past few weeks I've learned it liked me too much to leave but like an atriphed muscle I'm finding it hard to use well right away.
I know I'm supposed to be writing about how I spend my money but the money thing isn't the real reason I have this blog. The real motivation is it write. Neil Gaiman, who I love, says the best way to become a writer is to write. Write a lot. Just write and eventually you will be good enough to share that writing with someone else. Stephen from The Rumpus says that best way to keep a blog is to write everyday. I believe him as studies have shown consistence more than content is what wins on the net. Please read a blog more often when it publishes daily verses weekly. I'm probably months away from being a daily long form blogger but I do plan on getting there.
I read an article on the plane this morning about a guy who was hit by a car, it severing his C6 vertebrae. The doctor told him he would never walk again. He told him You didn't know me well, do you? The doctor shook his head at him and walked away saying he was delusional. Five years later this man became the first person to ever walk again unassisted after such a traumatic injury to his spinal column. He did it through old fashion hard work and having a very detailed plan of action. He said to write down three goals you have. Now rewrite them until you have the three you really want to accomplish. Once you have that, tell no one. Telling people these goals makes you a talker, not a doer. I realized after reading this article that I am a talker.
I tell people my ideas and goals and I speak words hoping they come true. I have very little faith these ideas will come true mostly because I don't know how to make them more than words but also because I don't have faith in myself to complete them. I used to believe the world was mine to conquer. I'm not sure when I started believing I was defeated but that stops today.
Feb twenty five is the day I become a doer again. I have to go now, I've goals to write.
Friday, February 10, 2012
I was driving home the other day and I saw a truck with spinners on it. A thought came to mind as I pulled away from the red light, that we are such a spoiled country. I want you to think back, back say ten years ago, when spinners were popular, when your biggest complained in life was that gas was $1.50 a gallon (which was outrageous), a movie ticket for a 7pm show was $8 (which was outrageous) and you spent all your spare time customizing your Myspace profile (which was, of course, outrageous). We, as a country, had so much money we invented wheels that kept spinning when the car stopped. How stupid was that? At the time, not at all. It seemed so necessary to show the other people you were in traffic with how much money you had. Now it just seems laughable what we 'needed'. Now, we're just happy to have matching hub cabs on a car that get's 30 mpg.
Anyway, enough with the reminiscing. This week was brutal. That should be in all caps cause I felt like fifth grader stuck in a cage match with The Undertaker and The Rock. It seemed there just weren't enough hours in any of the days to get everything done I needed to get done. I blame Tom Brady cause I don't like him and I had to watch the Superbowl Sunday night instead of doing homework. It's an American social law, isn't it? If you don't watch the Superbowl, you will be shunned by your friends and your neighbors won't make eye contact with you.
I spent most of the week playing catch up. I thought Monday night would be productive but I ended up spending most of the night on the side of the highway waiting on roadside assistance. The first hour's wait was for a nailed tire. The second two and half hour's wait was for a spare tire that lasted 30 seconds before coming off the rim.
After giving bad directions to some friends who agreed to come rescue me, we waited together for the tow truck. I was towed to Hamm's Tires downtown Dallas (Shout Out!), paid for a patch and a broken valve stem and started wearily on my way home around 10:30 pm. Tuesday morning, I had a bit of a meltdown. Stress and lack of sleep overwhelmed me and the idea of getting out of bed seemed impossible. I didn't much for the first part of the day but sulked and pouted.
After convincing myself to not only get out of the bed, I got out of the house and did what I had been putting off since I bought my car, the purchasing of new tires. After a trip to my friendly neighborhood Discount Tire, I apparently found the shadiest shop in my town to get an inspection done. I mean these guys were the least professional people I'd ever seen running a repair shop. They ignored me until they found outIi need actual work done on my car then they tried to flirt with me to get my business. You know what creepy mustache guy? That stuff doesn't work when you have teeth missing.
I instead of putting it in the heads of creepy pedos, I took the car to my trusty mechanic who always sells me the best parts for the car, not the best part for his profit. He told me the catalytic converter had gone out and I needed a new one. Seeing how this car was made less then ten years ago (and not in the 60s as I would love it to have been. It would also have to be a Barracuda, Charger, Corvette, Chevelle, or Camaro in that case.) and it's inspection is up this month, I didn't have much of a choice but to get the work done.
This entire week has been full of me spending too much money and not getting enough sleep. I plan on fixing all that next week.
Taco Republic: $5.95
Wal-mart: Lunch food for the week: $19.72
Bistro B: Superbowl party food: $14.07
Hamms Tires: $20.00
Braums: Ice Cream (I was slightly depressed): $2.15
The Wave Wash: $7.00
Discount Tire: $541.64
China City: (Cause you need delivery when your car is in the shop) $18.45
Wal-mart: Mouth rise: $5.78
Ted's Automotive: $464.64
Carenow: (From way back in Dec, they are just now sending me a bill SMH) $21.90
Office Depot: $7.62
UTD Library: (Cause the printers on campus don't take cash) $10.00
Thursday, February 2, 2012
I still haven't fully recovered from my impromptu road trip to Austin. It's always a great joy to spend time with Jen and the boys. I especially like the oldest one. His jokes are corny but he'a a great guy. I'm glad he's feeling better, being sick for a long period of time, like 2011, can wear on the moral.
What I didn't plan on was not sleep for the last five days. I don't know if I'm just stressed out about school or life or what but actually falling asleep and staying that way for the past week has been an impossibility. Yesterday I left work with vertigo so intense, it was making me nauseous. When I got home, me and my bed spent some much needed quality time together. After sleeping eight hours, I got some food and decided to watch movies until I fell back to sleep. Also I didn't account for my threshold of what is and isn't watchable bottoming out when I'm tired. I ended up watching two mediocre films that honestly never should have been made let along watched.
Both films had really good actors but they were giving terrible performances which tells you, bad acting isn't about the actor all the time. I mean Keanu Reeves gave a good performance in the first Matrix film and he normally can't act his way to end an awkward phone call. Anyway, if you are thinking about watching Death Race 2 or Men Who Stare At Goats, don't. The latter was watchable but fell flat at the end and the former was a huge mistake in being made at all. If I had IMDB'd the first one, I would have found that it was directed by the same guy who made that new Scorpion King 3 movie and you know if a guy is stuck making sequels to other peoples films, he has problems.
My spending was a little on the edge of out of budget but I reeled it back in. I even paid extra on my car last month as in addition to a road trip, I paid bills this weekend. Because I slacked on showing my spending for the past five days, I'm going to catch you all up at once.
7 Eleven, Gas: $25.62
7 Eleven, snacks: For the road trip: 5Hour, cup of coffee, bear claw: $7.40
McDonald's, dinner on the road: $3.25
Friday's Total: $36.27
Exxon Mobil, snacks: coffee, bear claw: $3.02
Saturday's Total: $3.02
No Purchase (Yay!)
Sunday's Total: $0
Jack In The Box, dinner: 4 tacos, oreo shake: $5.27
Monday's Total: $5.27
Kroger Fuel, gas: $40.19
Hong Kong Market, lunch for the week: $12.53
Bistro B, dinner with a friend: $10.04
Tuesday's Total: $62.76
Paid on car in Jan: $350
Total owed on Car: $5,363.42